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confessions
My title usually refers to my mood or thought of that moment.
When i write what song I'm listening to, I'm usually uncertain of what i really want to blog about.
I'm not one who blogs about every minute of my day. If that is the case, I would use twitter.
Lastly, I may be an interesting or boring blogger no matter how awesome or dull my life is actually.
And, honestly, I don't blog much about personal stuff. Or do I..?



Friday, February 5, 2010, 6:39 PM
It got me thinking.

4th Feb :

Happy Sweet 16 XIANYUN ♥

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I still remember when you wrote that phrase on my A math textbook !
We met back when we were both sec 2. At the end of 2008, we started on sec3 A math already and you wrote this :)
Glad you had a great celebration ! I have a gift for you but it will take some time, sorry :/

You're the most innocent girlfriend I know, SERIOUSLY. Love you !


***
Today :
Happy sweet 16 (too) AFIQAH ♥


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P/s: The mirror is veryvery dirty -.-


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Bought her a friendship band as I guess she'll refuse an expensive gift from me cause she mentioned no buying of gifts for her.
So.. Thats the reason why I've been asking a few people about their friendship bands :/
Anyway ! If you're reading this soulmate, Sarang hae ~ ^^

***

Okay, I wouldn't have blogged if not for these two darlings' birthdays cause I'm lazy to update my blog !
Though through the past couple of weeks, many things happened (good and bad), Life's still good !
And I'll try keeping it that way. It all boils down to my attitude towards some things and people now.

I'm thinking.. MIGHT QUIT BLOGGING AGAINNNN.
Or private it cause its like pointless to keep a dead blog open for people to view (if anyone even reads.)
Tired of maintaining it, lazy to blog about exciting/boring stuff about life.
Wish I could write my daily life and feelings down into a book which is alive. Well.. I'm obviously talking no sense.
For now, Pq shall do the job and listen to my every thought :>

Oh, I found today's CEP lesson qute meaningful and worth thinking over.
'What do you look for in a friend?' I won't be able to exactly answer this question.
I may say stuff like: Respect for my feelings, Understand my crazy emotions sometimes, Treating me as a true than a substitute, Yadayda.

All I know is I've been with the worst and the best.

Okay la. Will update a better post as soon as possible and that time I'll try to do a good one :)


There's just this part of life which I don't like.
Hmm.. I think I've changed.

Thursday, January 28, 2010, 12:44 AM
When you need me there, I got you.

Other couples' (MOST) privileges :
  • Get to meet whenever they like.
  • Date wherever, whenever they're free, yadayada.
  • I think there's a few more but only those two above are stuck in my head.

Seriously, I yearn for the above two points.

I wish I could be by his side whenever I want.

If I had this two privileges (or maybe moreeee), I would be happier than I am very happy right now !

I would rush to his work place (till work ends when Poly life starts) on Fridays to have lunch with him during his break time at 1pm-2pm. I don’t care if I’m a lil late. As long as I get to spend time with him.
I would cook him edible meals, LOL. But definitely not every day. I think cooking with him would be very fun <: Ohoh, and maybe baking too. I would roller-blade with him for hours till we’re tired as he’s been wanting that since forever. I would be able to accept dinner outings with his mum/dad/cousin. And the list goes on and on ! Well.. I wouldn’t say I’m a very good girlfriend.

It’s because of all this lack of freedom that I think I’m not such a good one. (sometimes).


BUT ! THE GOOD THING IS ..

When I think about all these 'privileges' that we don’t have, I don’t feel totally upset cause it is actually good in some way ^^

  • Firstly, meeting everyday may not be such a good thing.
    "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" - This is very true in our relationship.
  • Secondly, if we date whenever we like, try new things on every date, there will be limited excitement in the future.
    I'm still young. Imagine the years ahead of us ! In my opinion, if we date once or more every week or two, we may get bored of dating one day and just laze around at home.
    So, without these 'privileges', I think there's always something to look forward to :)
  • Thirdly, it PREPARES me. It may sound silly but I think I won't suffer a lot when he is off for NS. ( Remember telling Qianni this two days back )
  • And LASTLY, ( ^^ ) though we don't have these 'privileges', we're a happy and loving couple (L)
    Trust, Both parties' contribution, Understanding each other ...
    And happiness and true love is all that matter. I sound like a bloody unprofessional love guru.

Anywaaaay,

Happy 15th, love ♥


Tuesday, January 12, 2010, 5:41 PM
The way you look and smile at me.. ♥

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From Wendy's tumblr.
Taken on the last day of the Sec One Orientation :)
Too bad I don't have facebook. Hahaha. Else I would have posted it last week.

***


School was awesome today. Laughed a lot !
Firstly, Phulwin's one joker seriously. First was ' Blueberry ' and next was messing up 'Russian Roulette'. Only she'll know what she did to make me laugh till .... Don't know how to say !
Secondly, We ( Me, Wendy, Qianni and Phulwin ) tried pranking _ but chickened out eventually cause if we were to get into trouble, it won't be a small thing.
So.. Prank failed ! Lover said we'll try again when it's the right time. Oh yesyes, I want see _'s reaction :>
After pranking, I would blog about the prank. Silly but damn funny.
Oh.. But that's provided if I am closing down my blog or not. HAHA. Still deciding whether to quit blogging or not.

***

Though school's awesome, it's not all that fantastic when it comes to studying.
Especially Emath. Ohmygod, someone save me? Don't understand what the topic is all about. LLE some more suggest to speed up her teaching. Shingz -.-
And Chinese.. I'm thinking of not bothering about it at all.
Anyway, L1R4 or L1R5 don't necessarily need chinese cause I'm taking 7 subjects ^^

I'll try to motivate myself to study hard though its only Jan. TRYYY.

Oh bytheway, P/s: choose wisely, dear. But whatever it is, your happiness = my happiness :)

Saturday, January 9, 2010, 12:46 PM
Many words left unsaid.

Farewell Hazim !
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You promised to come back during the holidays. So.. Keep it cause I'll be holding on to it !
Hope you adapt to life over there @ Aust and don't ever forget those that care over here in Sg :)

***


P/s : Long winded post ahead. Skip it like you always do if you want.

Looks like many people have made their new year resolutions and I've not :/
One minute I feel like typing out my resolutions, the next I feel like its pointless letting the world know.
So I decide on the 'next minute' cause I'm feeling lazy to do so.

Last year was dreadful and blissful.

There were some people who made life xtremely difficult.
Some whom I thought didn't appreciate me that much and each day I hoped they'll realise how they treat me.
Some whom I thought I shouldn't waste my time on but eventually I couldn't tell them to get lost. I told myself I'll have good karma :D

Other than all the 'some whom....', I realised that I held many grudges last year.
Most of the times, I forgived. But for the 'most of the times', I never seem to forget. Especially when it angered me or broke my heart.
And holding grudges is really not good ! Unhealthy, I say. 'Forgive and Forget' is just not me.
Maybe it only applies when it comes to things between me and my family or Pq. I think..
There were times I made Pq upset and I'll never forget it. But Pq says he only thinks of those happy memories and never of the unhappy ones. He never held grudges against me. But if its others.. Different story already.

Back to me.

Up till now, I still remember those things.. Even if it was my good friend who did it to me. It doesn't mean he/she is a good friend, so its easier to forgive. In my case, its harder.
But I depend on time to heal whatever so I pretend like nothing happened but kill myself on the inside -.-
If it was a friend that's not so close, its like !@#$%^&*(. I just treat as if she/he just attended their own funeral.

I'll try not to think about it so much this year. I'll try letting go of the past. Try only.
Oh, one thing I realised too is that holding grudges only started last year for me. LOL.

And the last reason why it was dreadful was because of none other than the school.
They seriously caused alotttt of trouble for me at the beginning of 2009 !
Sometimes I wish I could tell them to MYOB for fuck's sake.

Gosh. Realised majority of the reasons why 2009 was dreadful was PEOPLE.

Guess life's like that.

And ya, 2009 was blissful because of many awesome people too :)
Too many great memories running in my mind right now and I miss it !

Anyway, thankyouverymuch to all those that have been here for me since the beginning.
Not mentioning names cause.. Well, I know who they are deep down and they don't have to know cause I'm sure they know themselves if they've been a true friend or not.

***

Skipped many lessons this week because of Sec One Orientation.
Best was 5 periods of chinese spread over two days ^^
Worst was missing first lesson of Chemistry cause I admit I was looking forward as Pq said Miss Prema's good.

I come home everyday looking very shagged, really.
Didn't expect it to be so tiring :(
BUT. It's sunday tomorrow and I LOVE SUNDAYS VERYVERY MUCH :>

Sunday, January 3, 2010, 10:44 AM
Time always kills the pain.

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Oh yes, from loooong hair to this !
Some time at the beginning of this week, I went to the hair salon with mum. Wanted to just trim the back and my fringe but mum said 'Better cut shorter now. Hair will grow la.', and so the hair dresser cut till.. Quite a tragic, I say :(
Complained to Pq and really regretted ! Especially the back, it was so damn straight -.-
And yesterday, I went to probably the greatest hair stylist I know to fix my problem and she did an amazing job (L)
But.. Somehow I feel the short fringe doesn't suit me. Pq says it's okay leh. Gahh.

***

Lunch @ Ramen Ten with 6 primary schoolmates yesterday. 5 guys and 2 girls. And surprisingly, it went well :)
No awkward scenes or whatever that Wanling and I were expecting, *phew.
Met up with Pq after that @ Dhoby Ghaut. Didn't watch Avatar in the end.. :(
So, in the end he accompanied me to shop for Wenyi's present and eventually got my hair cut done too ^^

***

AND OMG.

Is it really 4th Jan tomorrow ? :(

I don't feel like going back to school and study. Just miss mannny of my darlings !

***

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Thursday, December 31, 2009, 3:04 PM
Kulai.

I didn't really like this trip to Kulai. My first and last time there !

When 4th uncle described the place to us (cousins, cousins' cousins, cousins' friends), we all pictured a 5-star resort.
Okay, maybe not 'we all'. I pictured a 5-star resort as 4th uncle's very rich and its normal to think that he's referring to a good life kind of place.
Aye, I'm sure everyone was picturing a 5-star resort cause when we reached the destination, the expressions on everyone's faces (except 4th uncle's family) was........ :O
I guess he wanted us to experience life in kampong for once instead of what we have here in Singapore.

YES. KAMPONG.

Like wtf, I felt so cheated when I saw the place !
Cause Uncle described 'Huge resort, A lot of modern houses in the resort itself, Swimming pool, Pool table, etc etc.'
Well, it was all true but it was in kampong style :(

I did have fun, but the environment was different and unexpected.
Luckily it wasn't those kind of kampong in the older days. This is more modified, cleaner and modern looking.
And since I've experienced OBS and all of that, I didn't complain so much.

Yes, indeed the place was HUGE. But most of it was just plain land and nature.
It was xtremely cold at night, even with a blanket on me. The people who owned the resort were very hospitable :)

Okay la, I'm so long winded. Less words now.

We arrived at 7pm on saturday night.
Dinner > Explore the place > Settle down > Bbq > Chit Chat > Played with niece > Watched the guys play pool > Sleep.


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My niece is adorable and damn hyper I tell you. She kept coming to me and feeding me with cookies, lol.


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The next morning, I went to explore the place again as I didn't see much in the darkness the night before.
Spotted a mini zoo ._.
There was a brazilian monkey, eagle, two peacocks and two owls.
Omg, the peacock is so beautiful. But it would have been much more beautiful if it had spread its feathers.

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Later in the afternoon, the guys decided to play paintball after we watched a movie.
Being the audience is torturing cause it looks very fun ! But the host didn't allow the ladies to play though we wanted cause the paintballs would leave bruises if shot at the wrong place.


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Played football after paintball and left after dinner @ 8plus.

I regretted going and didn't regret. So its sort of 50-50 :/


***
Before I end,
Happy New Year in advance people :)

Monday, December 28, 2009, 12:11 PM
14th .

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Happy 14th, dear :)

***

Woah, brother got posted to Saint Andrew's. Happy for him :D

Have been quite busy lately ! Till I don't have the time to complete that stack of homework.
One week left and I've Physics, E maths and Lit still incomplete, waiting for me to do something about it.
But damn, I'm bloody lazy. Very tired of studying.

So since I've nothing else better to do, I suggested to have a farewell lunch on Saturday for Miss Yang (Physics tutor) ^^
She's going off to the states for studies purposes and won't be able to teach us next year :(

Anyway.. we ate @ Pizza hut. Ordered a lotttt of food but Nicholas was still hungry after the meal -.-

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We asked one of the waitress to help us with a shot and this was it :

First try,

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She said: "Sorry, its blur. Another one ah."

Second try,

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-.- ? Still blur. Tsktsk.
Wasn't satisfied so I asked another waitress after we ate.

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SO MUCH BETTER ^^

But though we were all happy, I bet all 6 of us are quite upset. Very curious to know who's replacing her !

She was a great teacher, really. And she sure knows what makes me happy !
A gift from her :

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Don't know if I bear to use it or not. Hahahaha.
Anyway, farewell Miss Yang ♥

***
Just came back from Kulai ( some place in Malaysia ) yesterday night. 2D1N only.
Was suppose to go out with lover but then I cancelled it cause 4th uncle arranged this family trip at the eleventh hour. He's always so last minute ! Some time back, he arranged a picnic gathering @ WCP, it was also a last minute thing. *shakes head*

Will blog about the trip next time. I've tons of things to do.
Haven't buy books, buy stationery, trim/cut hair etc etc.
Don't know when I'm going to dye my hair either. I'm sure I won't be able to escape so easily next year.

Looking forward to the upcoming Saturday :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009, 8:22 AM
KL .

This year's trip wasn't a fantastic blast compared to last year.
Rating : 7/10.
Last year's rating : Very satisfied !

Last year was better cause..
- A better shopping spree
- Visited cousin Anne they all.
- Didn't go to Sunway Lagoon. ( Xtremely HUGE theme park. )

But this trip's shopping spree was disappointing as there was nothing much that I fancied there :(

Anyway.. I had two buffets in two days ! Definitely put on weight :(
But best part is, the food was awesome. Especially the international buffet we had at one of the hotel's restaurant on the 2nd day :D

Okay, lesser talk from now.

1st Day :

Spa, dinner @ Seoul Garden, a lil bit of shopping, relaxing at the lounge.



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2nd Day :

Visited Ah Gong and brought him back to the hotel for the lunch buffet :)
Shopping spree at night sucked real bad.

He's much healthier than last year !


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Since 2007 (I think), we always eat at the restaurant downstairs as their food is just goooood.
My 3rd time there and I'm happy that the food's always different :)
In the restaurant itself, they have a Japanese kitchen, Chinese kitchen, Malay kitchen, Italian kitchen, Western kitchen, etc etc.
And all of 'em are open kitchens so we can see the chefs in action.
At the Italian kitchen, you get to choose what pasta you want, which sauce, any toppings (eg, Cheese, meatballs, ham...) and the chef will cook whatever you chose and serve it fresh !



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Strange how I've never seen fruit pizza before :/
There was a wide spread of desserts ! But ofcos, not all suited my liking.
Ate a lot of sushi, dim sum, different kinds of fish, abalone, etc etc, instead ^^

3rd day ( and last ) :

Mum went to the spa without me in the morning.
Left earlier than expected as I had stuff the next day.

In all.. The rating's 7/10 like I said.
Nepal next year ! Mum said its up to me if I wna go or stay. I doubt dad would want that.



***

Oh, grandparents/uncle came back on monday from their one month trip.
Grandmum bought stuff for me and I was elated cause she didn't buy something for every of her 19 grandchildren ^^
She didn't buy for some of 'em cause of I don't know what reason.

No la, she's not biased.

And yes I have 16 cousins. (Dad's side) Wished I had MORE !



***

School later on and lunch/shopping with lover after that :)

Saturday, December 19, 2009, 7:21 PM
Oppsy Daisy.

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^ I'm short. Damn. But he was tip toe-ing a lil.
And its blurry cause I was shaking ! Don't know why. Haha.

Going to KL's no big deal to many. Me think so too :(
Mum/Dad said if all's good, we'll go to Nepal next year ! But ..

I want to go L.A Disneyland and Florida again !


I can't even remember a thing about my trip there when I was a child ( 4years old maybe?) ! Ugh.

Anyway.. Will blog about KL trip asap :)

Saturday, December 12, 2009, 1:26 PM
Hidden .

Last year :

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This year :

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Next year :

I wonder if it will even matter. It definitely matters to me.

***
Tuition was great today. Planned with Xianyun to go out after our overseas trips. ( Mine- KL. Hers- Phuket. )
She's not those kind of shopping/movie outing kind of a girl so we finally compromised and decided to go bowling/swimming/badminton/yadayada all @ CCK ( some club or something ).
Excited ! I've never went bowling before. Funny or what. Hahaha.

The tune of my blog song is stuck in my head ! Gahh. { My Bloody Valentine- Tata Young }

I miss you ! Yes you, my boo.